how to ask girlfriend's father permission

All rights reserved. ■ I have to wonder how those having a chat with the future father-in-law would feel about their girlfriends having the same chat with their (the guy’s) father. ■ The comments make it even more with the nope. However, even if you two have been together for years and know each other is the one, asking a father permission to marry might feel as heavy a question as the one you pop on one knee. If they are non-traditional, or you are worried they (or she) might see it as a sexist gesture, simply be careful about the way you phrase it. Doing your homework while the teacher is marking it. Explain that you and their daughter are interested in dating. Is she really independent, for women’s rights, and untraditional. How early is this commonly done before proposing and, if possible, should it be in person? Do i need to ask her dad for permission or can i propose? Make sure that you take the time to explain that their permission is important and valued to you both. A sampling: ■ Before I proposed, I spoke with her father -- “I wanted to let you know that I love your daughter, and I’ll be asking her to be my wife.” I knew she really wouldn’t appreciate the “property” overtones, but she’d appreciate me and her dad having a pleasant conversation and being on the same page. I'm going to propose on New years when the ball drops in time square. What’s an extreme sport? Taking her father out for a steak dinner is also a nice option. I guess my only concern is keeping the secret for that long. Your girlfriend's father wants to feel good about the man marrying his daughter. Should I discuss financial details before getting engaged? I am not chattel. How about asking for his (and her mom’s) blessing. Think about the reasons why you are asking your girlfriend's father permission to marry his daughter and use these reasons as guides to help you decide how to ask. save. 10 comments. The author Edward St Aubyn asked his then girlfriend's father, the theatre critic Milton Shulman, to lunch at White's. Is that something that would make her and her father's life more wonderful? My father in-law is very traditional, and also values “manliness”… neither of which terribly describes me. How early is this commonly done before proposing and, if possible, should it be in person? Sort by. Even though the “blessing” is traditionally supposed to come from the father, we think it’s a great idea to include your girlfriend’s mother as well. Halfpoint/Shutterstock. In most Western cultures it's not necessary. Yes. All rights reserved. Especially when the secrets are about them. I'm a traditional guy, I strongly believe in the importance of asking the parents for permission, but as my girlfriend's mother had passed away when she was in her late teens and I'd never met her father I wasn't sure if it was going to be possible, and then when she told me her dad was in hospital I … Coming from a girl, that has had boyfriends ask to date me before they asked me out, I 100% believe is the right thing to do. The tradition of asking the father for permission stems back to days where the man ran most of the family affairs. Let them lead the conversation and show genuine interest in what they have to say. Sometimes a suit and tie is necessary when asking for her father's permission to the marriage, and sometimes a nice dress shirt and slacks are appropriate. If your girlfriend’s father has died, wasn’t around when she was growing up, or is simply a jerk that his daughter avoids contact with, ask the mother. However, having her family on board and behind your marriage 100% is a highly desirable aspect of a long, happy, and healthy marriage. How to ask your girlfriends father for permission for hand in marriage when he lives 4000+ miles away USA-NORWAY. Dear Asking: Do you think your girlfriend wants you to ask her father for permission to marry her? For example, if the primary reason you are asking her father for permission is because your girlfriend and her family like tradition then you should probably choose a formal setting where you can showcase your gentlemanly side. Favourite answer. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. They may ask you why you would like to date their daughter. He replied: "Give me one good reason you'd make a good husband or even a decent father or I'm leaving!" For example, if the primary reason you are asking her father for permission is because your girlfriend and her family like tradition then you should probably choose a formal setting where you can showcase your gentlemanly side. So Ive been dating my girlfriend over a year now and we were friends for 8 years before that and we are now 20 and 19. I’m fairly sure the father will, but while her mother is great, she may have more difficulty keeping it quiet (I’m assuming he’ll tell her) — maybe I should just trust her father to keep it a secret from her mother if he thinks she’ll let the cat out of the bag. Relevance. Luckily, the father said yes. However, the parents live a considerable distance away and we are visiting her family next month. Are there any rules of etiquette or traditions or customs a man should follow when asking a father’s permission to marry his daughter? In summary, try to find a setting where you both feel comfortable, think about the reasons why you want to ask his permission, and think a bit about things from his perspective. Write to Carolyn Hax in care of the Washington Post, Style Plus, 1150 15th St., NW, Washington, D.C. 20071 or e-mail tellme@washpost.com. I plan to ask my girlfriend’s father for permission to marry his daughter. Prepare to ask a girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage by calling him up and setting an appointment with the preface that you have some good news. Now, just request his blessing and support in you asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Here's a modern girl's take on the tradition: how to ask her dad for his blessing — in a way that's right for HER. Or chat with her online at noon Eastern each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. It depends. And we are delighted! Our parents have dinners together and email constantly so there is no real problems with anything like that. © 2021 www.freep.com. Ask both parents when you see them — elder deference > male deference — and ask them to keep a lid on it, though I recommend proposing immediately afterward and not waiting, because keeping secrets from people you’re supposed to be in an intimate relationship with is incredibly counterproductive. I am a person. Thanks all. I’m not planning on proposing for another three months. I want to ask my girlfriend to marry me. I want to ask her to marry me but I am not sure if I should ask him first? Of asking the father said yes, it 's still something to consider love, then I ’ not... Marriage when he lives 4000+ miles away USA-NORWAY during half time far from her parents and they!: ) me that well m not planning on proposing for another three.! And would do anything for her hand away from me ask for.... Whether your parents expect your partner to ask her father them and she is going on one with me week... And ask for approval care about her enough to step up and ask by phone or! 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